i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
You were trust falling into bushes
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize
