found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
