I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
It's just like the Real World with babies
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
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