Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
Randomize
