is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
I supernannyed him into submission
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Randomize
