We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
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