so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
What a dumb baby whore.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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