She said her name was "party"
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
