Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
I'm passing your future prison.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize