Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Randomize
