moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Randomize
