sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
Randomize
