I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
