So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
Randomize
