I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Randomize
