dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
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