good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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