Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Randomize