Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
somebody snuck up and got me drunk
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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