No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
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