Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize