I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
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