Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
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