You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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