Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
is that a dick in a sweater?
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
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