return my video game
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Randomize
