I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Randomize
