Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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