Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Randomize
