somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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