I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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