Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
Randomize
