Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
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