I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Randomize
