FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
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