apparently the secret to your success is patron
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
Randomize
