wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
