I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
Randomize
