Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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