I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
