are you so shy because you have an std?
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Randomize