i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
Randomize
