if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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