Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Randomize
