as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
