i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize
