Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
