So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
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