Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
if only i could text you this smell
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
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