You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Randomize
