that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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