Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
