the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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