I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I AM VODKA MAN
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
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