no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
