The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
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