Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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