So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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