Please, let me fuck your mom
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Randomize
