OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Randomize
