yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize
