I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
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