And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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