sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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