he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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