i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Randomize
