I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
