I wish I could teleport
If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
