FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
Randomize