Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Randomize
