I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
