chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
