I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Randomize
