In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize
