Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
