Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
