I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
