her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Randomize
