3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
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